Friday, February 6, 2015

What's Your Middle Name?

I told this story for the zillionth time today, and I just thought I'd tell it here for kicks. 

The thing about middle names is, I don’t have one.  It was just sort of a thing in the small community and time of my parents upbringing that people weren't necessarily given middle names--especially little girls.  Who knows was just a thing.  I've known several people who don't have one, and I've even heard more than one person say, "Yours must be a generation for not having middle names.  I know a lot of people your age who don't."  That seems weird to me, but whatever!

The cool thing is, that kind of makes up for my last name being so long, like on forms and stuff.  The bad thing is, especially when I was younger, people wouldn’t believe me when I said that I didn't have a middle name, and they would take guesses at what weird or horrible or old-timey thing it might be.  I’m like, “No, it isn’t ‘Phyllis.’  I really don’t have one.” 

One time in elementary school art class, we were making big block letters of our initials on paper.  The point was sort of learning how to draw something that looked three dimensional.  I started mine out, “MD” and I really liked it, and wanted to stick it up somewhere when we got to take them home.  My evil teacher saw it, and said, “No, you have to do all three.”  I told her I didn’t have a middle name.  She goes, “Well, make one up.  You have to do three letters.”  I was so pissed!  I didn’t have one, and I wanted to do my real initials!  I chose “A” for my middle initial, so it spelled out “MAD.”  I know--sticking it to the man at such a young age.  My friends Jeff and Peter chose my new middle name, Anastasia, which became funny later in life due to my affinity for this lady.

It was funny, too, because she pinned those up on the bulletin board in the entry way to the school (which is now an architectural firm across the road from where I currently work) during parent-teacher conference day.  There was my great big MAD in red and black—the colors of rebellion. 

RED...the blood of angry meeeeeennn...
BLACK...the dark of AGES paaaaaast...

And that's my middle name story that I've told a zillion times. 



  1. My mother has no middle name, I have my mothers name as my middle name. Unfortunately for my sons, my spouse and i could not agree completely on names they should be given and both sons have not one but TWO middle names AND a horribly long, hyphenated last names. I need to start putting away money for therapy for them.

    1. Haha! There are pros and cons to both, I guess. I think it's neat when people have two middle names. It seems so extravagant compared to my zero! My great-nephew has a set of two initials as his middle name. I had never heard of that before him. In my twenties, I toyed back and forth with the idea of picking one and getting it legally done, just to have a middle name and avoid the argument with people about whether or not I had one. Ultimately, I embraced the uniqueness of not having one, and at my ripe age now, why bother?

      Oh, here's a tidbit! American presidents tend to have longer names than the candidates they defeat, so had your boys been born here (I assume they're Canadian) they'd be all set to be in charge. :)

  2. If looks could have killed, said art teacher would have spontaneously combusted.


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