Monday, February 16, 2015

25 my favorite number, and I know not why.  It always has been, even through the year I was age 25, in which some shitty things happened!  I remember thinking (irrationally), "This should have been my year!" and it wasn't.  The best things seem to have happened at 30 and beyond, and I'll take it. 


This is a little old-timey, but I came across this thing in the blogging world where you list 25 things about yourself, mostly semi-substantial things rather than quicky ones, and I figured I'd do it, having nothing else to write about.  So, without further ado...HERE ARE ALL OF THE THINGS.

1.  One time, I got lost in Ukraine.  I was with a group (missionary, but now in more secular times, I tell people that it was a humanitarian trip--and truly it was--if I don't want to get into a religious conversation), and part of that group had a presentation at a church one night.  Because I stayed later than the others, but left sooner than the few making the presentation, I got shoved in a cab, a native Ukrainian speaker spoke to the cabby, and we took off.  Now, I spoke some Russian that I'd learned in high school, which is very similar to Ukrainian, but I wasn't fluent, so I was trusting the individual giving directions and the cabby himself to get me where I needed to host family's apartment.  It was night, and so many apartment buildings in Simferopol, Ukraine looked EXACTLY the same.  The cabby seemed confused, but dropped me off, and I indicated that I'd get where I needed to be.  Wow, was I lost.  The building was wrong, and in 2002, anyway, they did not have street lighting in that city.  I eventually went into a building looking like mine, and a young couple was making out inside.  I knew just enough Russian to tell them that I was a dumb, confused American, and could they help me get to building number whatever it was.  They were charmed by my idiocy, and told me where to go.  I knew just enough of the language to follow their instructions, and bumble my way in the dark back to my Ukrainian home.  Thanks, Mr. Hylkema!  (He taught me Russian).  Thanks making out young couple!  Maybe they made a little Ukrainian that night, who knows?  Crap, I hope they're ok over there.

2.  One of the most moving moments of my life has been seeing the Bog Bodies at the National Museum of Ireland in Dublin.  Please look them up if you are interested, but I'll just say that they are like leather--beyond baseball glove-like--and they have gorgeous bright red hair in tiny braids...TINY braids, you guys.  They are very short in stature--you can tell, even though some of them are just in parts (it's not for the faint of heart).  When I saw those things (and that's what they are now--things) my atheism was nailed down for sure, though I wasn't fully conscious of that at the time.  Looking at them, I thought that any afterlife was an absolute pipe dream, and I loved them for that.  Oh, the fleeting nature of our lives.  Those were the freakiest and most beautiful objects that I've ever seen, and the most sacred.

3.  Right now I'm craving a steak, a big pile of greens and a glass of red wine.  Craving it really hard!

4.  My best friend is this guy who I never would have guessed or picked to be such.  In 1995, I was walking on my college campus by Crowe Hall, and he shouted out his window at me.  I could have been any one else, I suppose, but I was me.  He could have had a third floor room, and maybe I would have passed on by to avoid the bother, but he was on the first floor.  I went in, and I don't remember what we talked about or did.  We did nothing scandalous--he's gay.  I DO know, however, that a few weeks later he called me up at my dorm room and left a message.  I got it late one night.  He was singing Melissa Etheridge, and he grinded all of the first notes, "I WANNA COME hell with the CON-se-QUENCE..."  He did come over.  And for these twenty years, he never went to speak.

5.  I've been to exactly one gay wedding, and back then it wasn't legal.  It was in Arizona in...maybe...1998?  It was the best and most romantic wedding I've ever been to...two dudes.  It was on Halloween, and they encouraged everyone to dress in costume.  We stayed with the grooms in their home, and lots of other friends did, too.  My bff (above) was invited to sing at the wedding, and that's why I was there at all.  He is still in contact through Facebook with some of those with whom we camped out in the grooms' living room.  One of the fellas has since passed away.  We had a grand old time that four or so days, and then for about six more.  We combined it with a whirlwind road trip of western cities...Tucson, Phoenix, Las Vegas, San Diego (to see our friend Liz), Tijuana.  That was  a damn good trip.  We were so young, Chris and I.  Once, in Nevada, we took our rental Taurus up to 100 mph, just to see what it was like.  Since it was flat open road, it didn't really feel like we were going that fast, but it was fun to try it and not get caught.

6.  When I was in my twenties, I developed the habit of going to the movies alone.  Of course, I go with friends, too, and sometimes my brother and sisters, but going alone can be cathartic.  I remember my only film professor in college (I only took one film class, and got an A+ from a prof who supposedly only gave up to an A-.  BOOM!) said that he sometimes went alone when he was moody or upset or knew a movie would have an effect on him and he wouldn't want to talk about it after.  I took that cue, and followed suit in my Louisville years.  I still go alone almost half the time.  This type of easy independence led me to be able to go to places like Boston and Chicago and London alone without blinking.  I remember in Louisville hearing a woman say that she wanted to go to the movies alone, and wished she had the courage.  She ended up going with a bunch of other women to the bars that night, and I thought, "Jesus Christ, how will you have the courage to do anything in life if you can't even show up to the movies alone?"

7.  I  have been proselytized into a Japanese literature group.  I'm out of my league.  That feels great, though.  They did it with good sushi.  I'm a sucker.

8.  I was Amy Grant's assistant for a day...sort of.  I was working at a Christian retail store, and she came to do a signing.  My boss told me to shadow Amy, and get her anything she needed.  She was super nice, as I knew she would be, and never asked for a thing.  I stood behind her at the autograph table, as I was told to do by my boss, and her water bottle tipped over and fell on the table.  I stepped forward, grabbed it by the cap, and placed it back erect.  That is the one service that I provided for Amy Grant that day, and I assume the only one that I will ever provide for her, though I would be more than happy to do anything she would ask of me to this day.

9.  I was considered "clergy" in the Emmaus community.  It's a retreat-type thing.  I don't know if I want to talk much more about that, but they were special weekends with other Christians in Louisville, and they have them in lots of other places, too.  If I ever got invited back, I would definitely go and talk about my deconversion.  Not holding my breath.

10.  I am really an embarrassingly obsessive and loyal fan...mostly of literature and movies and television shows, though this last offends my snobbery a little!  I have NEVER been an obsessive fan of sport.  My little joke is that the only spectator sports I like are quidditch and roller derby...and that is the truth!

11.  I never began drinking alcohol until I was age 30 or 31.  I'm not a heavy drinker, still, so I think a late start is not such a bad idea for some of us, anyway.  I was a complete teetotaler up until then.  I like pale ales (I know...I'm filled with shame, though I drank a pint of Guinness in fucking Dublin, so that has to count for something), and I like red or white wine, no difference, and I like some rum in cola (Cola?  Who am I?) or some vodka with varying juices.  It's all good).  Right this very moment, I have been drinking a few lemon easy cocktail that I can make for you.  I can make a lemon drop, a Blue Marilyn (a not so fictional drink) and a Moscow Mule.  A Cosmo, of course.  Others, too, if I follow a recipe, but I want to get better.

12.  I love a big dog.  Lab, Retriever, German Shepherd.  If I could work from home, I'd have one in a heartbeat.  I just am away too much with work, then social things in some evenings.  Maybe someday!

13.  I have attended services where people were speaking in tongues.  No joke.  That was never my particular faith's proclivities, but I went with friends who were borderline Pentecostals.  Oh, my.  I have seen some crazy shit, y'all.

14.  I like to hop on the Amtrak and go to Chicago.  The least planning before, the more fun it is.  I've even done the thing where you get on the train with no ticket, and buy one on the way.

15.  I took my first nephew's newborn photograph to second grade show-and-tell.  No, my sister wasn't a teen mom.  I was just the youngest in a large-ish family.

16.  In 2010, I joined a film buffs group, and it was the best thing I ever did for myself, but I didn't know it then.  I had been back in my small town for awhile, but really needed to branch out.  I'd Googled my favorite author, Neil Gaiman, only to find that he'd been in nearby Indianapolis that very day!  He was giving a speech at a high school an hour's drive away from me.  I was too late, but I noticed that a film group in Indy was attending.  I scoped them out, and saw that their next event was a cinema outing to the new Leo DiCaprio/Christopher Nolan film, Inception.  I RSVPed to go, and thought, "Oh, that group might be fun to attend once a month or every other month."  I attended, and oh, my.  These were my people.  In the nearly five years since, I've met some of my favorite pals.  Just like the title of that book, they are the "same kind of different as me."  I even took my childhood bff, Jennifer, to a cult movie night with the group when she was visiting from Iowa, circa 2013.  Crimeny, I love that group.  And I re-love her for fitting right in.

17.  The only dog I've ever really had was my childhood one, Angel.  She died when I was in college, two decades ago, and I still miss her sometimes.  She was a Fox Terrier.

18.  Little Okinawa is a fake place. friends and I in 8th grade found it on accident through much "Stand by Me"-esque adventure, and I never could totally tell you all about it.  I get a little weepy thinking about that day.  we re-emerged from being totally lost at this cornfield and this road...and my dad (now deceased...what?!) drove by in his rusty old green truck.  Of course he would have picked us up and taken us back to my friend's house, but hiding in the corn just seemed like part of the adventure (we were dumb).  We walked back to Jennifer's (yep, that one) road and arrived at her house so dirty and wet (we'd waded waist deep through a creek (we were dumb).  But we made it.  I think about that day every once in awhile.  We saw some weird stuff...

19.  If you want to trap me, seduce me into a periwinkle colored room, with periwinkle shelves and periwinkle books, also glass bottles filled with periwinkle perfume...all backlit.  I could stare at the color periwinkle all day long and be mesmerized.  It's very soothing.

20.  My first ever concert going experience was Billy Joel--Storm Front.  I was a junior in high school, and Billy wore a black suit, black shirt, black shoes, and red socks.  You could see them when he was jumping around, on and off of his piano.  He could do that back then.  And I could watch without thinking about how sore I would be the next day if I performed such antics.

21.  Pet peeve--on HGTV or wherever.  A couple is dissatisfied with their awesome home makeover.  I don't care what you ended up with!  It's way better than the shithole you started with!  Be grateful, you jerks!

22.  My brother and his family are totally moving within 20 miles of Orlando, and I'm totally going to miss them, and I totally can't wait to visit, and they are totally taking me to Harry Potter World.  ...Maybe on my birthday?  Or in October?  Totally.

23.  Woody Harrelson was a student at my alma mater a little over a decade before I was.  He came back during my time there, along with lots of other theater alumni, to be in the play The Diviners, which was really great.  He lived on campus for a month during rehearsals and performances.  I talked to him a few times, and once, he sat down across from me at lunch at a table for eight.  He was a very humble and gentle person, and people noticed several acts of kindness that he did during his time on campus.  A few years before, Cheers had its series finale, and the entire college population signed an enormous card for him.  He was also given some kind of a gift--maybe a letterman's jacket?  I don't know.  Lovely guy.  You'd walk through one of the basketball courts, and there he would be playing a pick up game.  He stayed at his old fraternity house, and honestly I think he just sacked out on the couch.  No reports of copious marijuana use.

24.  I am an introvert.  Introversion is so misunderstood!  I've rarely known an extrovert to actually understand what introversion means.

25.  All of my biological grandparents had passed away before I was born.  My maternal grandmother died when my mother was a young girl.  Her father remarried her second grade school teacher.  He later passed, and she remarried.  She and her second husband were the only two people that I knew as Grandma and Grandpa, and they lived into my college years.  I grew up with parents who are roughly a decade older than most of those of my peers, so in recent years, when coworkers have seen me taking my parents out to dinner, or something similar, they sometimes remarked later that they saw me with my grandparents.  I hold myself back from saying, "I know lots of people in this town are grandparents by the time they reach 30, but that's not how it worked in my family."  I know!  Terrible!

And that's 25.  Thinking of all of these was like squeezing blood from a turnip.


  1. Let's see...

    I spent a summer in Barcelona as part of a college art class and me and this one chick got lost in the old part of town one day. Was a little scary, but not as bad as it could've been because we met so many English speakers.

    What did your friend shout at you to begin with?

    People can be funny sometimes about not going to the movies alone. I've seen that attitude before. I smell a blog post in this...

    Do you find it odd that there haven't been more Christian pop singers since Amy Grant that have gone mainstream? Or perhaps I'm just unaware of them?

    My father used to let me have a sip or two from his beer bottle as a little kid. These days I only really imbibe on special occasions. Purely a beer drinker though. In Barcelona, I drank some wine but the problem with wine is I'm always afraid of spilling it... as I did in a bookstore recently!

    STORM FRONT might've been the first Billy Joel album I bought. 'This is the Time' was everywhere, I remember. (It's from that album, right?)

    Top 5 Woody Harrelson movies: PEOPLE VS. LARRY FLINT, ZOMBIELAND, NATURAL BORN KILLERS, WHITE MEN CAN'T JUMP, and I'll throw in KINGPIN too, why not. Never saw THE MESSENGER but it's supposed to be really good too. Underrated actor.

    1. Yes, the language barrier adds some fun/fear to the situation.

      I don't remember! He's not much of a "Hey, guuuurrrrrl" type, but some manner of good-mannered harassment that got me to come to the window, and then chatter that got me inside. I was pretty easy, I guess.

      Writing about that made me think of Under the Skin and the whole solitude thing, and I believe I remember you posting about that.

      There have just been a handful. Kathy Troccoli is big in the Xtian world, and she had that hit way back in the early 90s, maybe? Everything Changes. She sounded very much like Taylor Dayne, which is partially why she started out as Taylor's back up singer. Michael W. Smith and Amy were pretty much the favorite twinsies who made it big around the same time. The biggest star to switch over has been...Katy Perry! She is the daughter of two pastors, and she put out a Christian pop album when she was a teenager. It wasn't huge, but I'm pretty sure she came to Louisville while I was there. I certainly stocked her CDs at the store where I worked. It grinds my gears that I didn't meet her. I was in retail and I worked at a radio station, so I was backstage at stuff all the time. It would be a fun story and a fun picture to have. Oh, and Sixpence None the Richer had crossover stuff--the Kiss Me song that they always use for kiss cam at games.

      Honestly, I had to look it up, and This is the Time is from The Bridge, another good one! Alas, I googled Storm Front and the first thing that came up was a white pride group. How unsettling. I'll stick with Billy's version.

      I also loved Seven Psychopaths, but I need to revisit that one. I think Woody's part was pretty small. Zombieland was off the hook. That opening sequence had my jaw on the floor. I was like, holy hell, they run!

  2. Thanks for taking the time to write that... very cool!

  3. That was some pretty awesome turnip blood! I LOVED it.
    I love to go to movies by myself (but since there is not theater in this town I probably havent for about 12 years) and I like to go to restaurants by myself. I can't imagine not being able to do things alone.

    1. Haha! Thanks, Julie. I couldn't squeeze out another 25 if I tried.

      I agree--going it alone, at least on occasion, its advantages.

  4. Just like being in a room with you and hearing you tell your story! I think you should slap "Jesus Christ, how will you have the courage to do anything in life if you can't even show up to the movies alone?" on your bio and go on tour!

    1. Everyone! This is the famous Jennifer of Little Okinawa fame! She sent me a text message today about that day, and my jaw hit my desk. She and I could tell you all some stories!

      Thanks, Jenn, for following my shameless promotional link. It's so rare that I can say, " I was thinking of that, too--look!"


Always feel free to chime in.